No Sojourner memes please

I'm the kind of agent who does not pay too much attention to backstory (admittedly you are not really hardcore if you don't know at least the back-story basics.) Or memes. But I am obsessed with the game. As I've hinted I was addicted to Minecraft in the past, where my ign is zaphodikus obviously, but I've not logged in again since I picked up agent level 2. Curious to know what your obsession with ingress is - my main obsession is the video making, then the walking, and lastly the pub visits.

#1 The video making obsession comes from the huge number of screen recordings I made in Minecraft. Minecraft is really great for telling stories. Here is an example of a Star Trek Minecraft battle enactment. Kringeworthy, because my Star Trek knowledge is really pretty pants. So please do rip me off.

#2 The walking. Yes my average is around 20 kms a week. I have reached 40 kms in a week, but I generally aim to reach 30 as often as possible. This blog is thus a key part of my Ingress walking journey. Why, well around the time I got hooked on Minecraft I had a knee cartilage tear, this kind hurt like hell just to climb stairs - and every house in the UK has stairs. Probably because nobody in the UK knows how to design houses properly, but that's another matter altogether and has been a failure for so long that Brits just get on with it now. I had some knee surgery, which helped a little, but had become couch-bound in the meantime. This led to cabin fever and grumpiness; until I discovered ingress. The beauty of ingressing is that it takes your mind off the pain in your knees long enough for you to start getting fit. Getting fit improves your mood, and pretty soon the inflamation in the cartiliage is treatable with a bit of anti-inflamatory and glucosamine tabs, which builds cartialige, but you have to take a lot of it. Hence some people get a bit miffed with me walking fast when I go smashing or 8-rolling, I don't pause to glyph too often - but that's once again another thing to talk about later. But no I do not walk that much, I'm still trying to get the onyx trekker. I think you need to walk about 40kms a week to get that badge, and often I just have to give my knees a break and I fade out for a week to recover.

#3 Pubs. We don't have nearly as many pubs back in South Africa; well not ones you can walk into and then walk out of alive or not in scarred in some way scarred or other. I am not a drinker by any measure, and have a terrible constitution saving roll. But I do know how to cheat the dehydration effects. Drink a lot of water at high speed when you slip off to the loo. The pubs in Britain are a brilliant installation and should be saved at all costs! That and the curries. Without pubs Britain would be a shambles, I'm sure of it - the walls have ears.

Enlightened agent are not all cheats

To be able to start at the beginning, there must be a now to come back to. Lately I have been ignoring cheats in the game. Ingress will always have all kinds of cheats, there are many ways to gain unfair advantage, some are plain dishonest, and some are just exploits. I'd obviously like to think that ENL don't cheat ,but we clearly do. If we did not, then the effect of XM on humans would have to be as the Resistance put it mind controlling. But it is just a game, and if it were not that would be enough proof anyway. So we have a ENL player with a number of L8 accounts who lives in the City (Cambridge - yes the real #ing Cambridge.) He uses the accounts to create P7 portals often and then couch hack for kit. As a result we have opted to not build portals near his couch - anything we capture there gets pineapled or just built out to level 4, local Smurfs know it too and regularly smash the lot. We call our cheater and his multi's the "8 team". We also never talk or invite them to anything we do, its the price cheaters pay on both sides.

Anyway, that's where it begins. ENL do cheat - where it is now is a Smurf.  I'll not go into the smurf who got grounded by his wife who thought he was cheating on her - the drinking and staying out late gets lots of us in trouble. Although that is unfortunate, it's good to know that RES and ENL have pretty much the same problem here. We all firmly believe the opposite team do not have real lives and that they have scanners hard wired to their wrists . LOLz No I'm on the hunt for a certain Blue team player who has 2 accounts and operates out of Saffron Walden. We see anyone carrying two scanners as a cheater, and with quite a bit of circ. evidence I'm going to try and catch them red handed, perhaps only a lighter shade of embarrasing orange-handed. It's not my aim ever to ban cheaters, thats another matter. No blood on the floors please, I believe people can change.
But suffice, if you are that agent, I'm onto you, and if you see a dude with an Indiana Jones hat and a scanner glowing green, you are going to be on youtube!

 

We raided Bishops Stortford rather than play vs the cheats in Saffron Walden.

But your time will come. That Saffron village will be Lime!